


You Made Your Mark (Here In My Heart)

by AllTheseLittleWritings



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Adults, Alternate Universe, Coming Out, Cute, Drinking, Family Fluff, Fluff, Ice Skating, Kids, M/M, Partying, Soulmates, Teenagers, planning the future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 20:37:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9018502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllTheseLittleWritings/pseuds/AllTheseLittleWritings
Summary: Louis is slowly caressing the baby’s cheek. He’s looking into bright green, wide eyes, which seem to look at Louis in wonderment. Louis picks the baby’s hand into his and holds it. He looks at it and then at Harry, who starts to chuckle with his cute baby voice. 
 - When Louis is just a small child, he meets a chubby baby named Harry. He doesn't realize that he meets the same boy over 20 years later and finds his soulmate.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [itsdreamwriting](https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsdreamwriting/gifts).



> Hi! And Happy Christmas!  
> I got the idea for this story over a year ago when my friend, who was working as a cashier, told me a story about two little children who were holding hands and didn't know each other. Now, it's finally here and I hope this fic will spread Christmas happiness and warm feelings :)  
> Thank you so much [written-with-no-end](http://written-with-no-end.tumblr.com/) on tumblr who kindly proof read this fic and gave feed back.  
> This is for you [my lovely friend](http://bringmebacktohome.tumblr.com/), I hope you have a wonderful Christmas <3

“Louis, we don’t need any sugar. We have plenty at home.” Louis looks at his mother with bright eyes, his small hands grabbing a packet of sugar. He puts it back on the shelf, next to the other packets, and waddles back to his mum. She’s holding her hand out for him and as soon as he’s close enough, he grabs it and holds on tight. 

Jay is pushing a shopping cart, walking forward slowly. Louis has just turned three, even though to Jay it feels like no time has passed since he was born. Life around him is exciting and fun and he wants to touch everything. Jay looks down at him and smiles. Louis is her baby boy and she doesn’t want him to grow up. She wants him to stay like this forever; as her little boy, who is curious of the packets of sugar and bread. 

 

“Lou, let’s not take the lollipops,” she guides him. He’s reaching towards the candies, but his arm is too short for him to actually reach anything. She picks him up in her arms, stopping in front of the oh so sweet lollipops. 

“We already have something you like at home, remember?” She looks into his blue eyes. They’re framed with thick, brown lashes. His chubby cheeks are blushed, and his small hands are holding onto his mum’s shoulders. 

He shakes his head, his eyes getting wider. Jay smiles at him, kissing him on the cheek. 

“We got those grapes at home, remember?” She smiles and watches her son’s faced twist into a frown. His lower lip sticks out and the corners of his mouth turn down. 

“You don’t like them?” She asks, and gives him another kiss. She takes his hand into hers and Louis grabs her finger tightly. 

“I like candy,” Louis says with his delicate voice. Jay laughs quietly. She watches her son brighten up. She can feel how a light chuckle forms in his little body and escapes his plump lips. 

“Let’s stick with the grapes, honey. Let me tell you, they might be even better than any candy in the whole wide world!” Her excited voice makes him excited too. Louis hides his face into her neck and she can hear his small laughs puffing against her skin. 

“No candy?” He asks, his arms wrapping around her neck. 

“No candies this time, love.” 

He nods and presses his cheek against hers. He inhales and exhales, his breathing fanning against his mother’s cheek. Jay closes her eyes, hugging Louis a little closer. 

 

“You want to walk or do you want to sit?” She asks, making Louis lift himself from his mum’s embrace. 

He looks around them, his head whipping from one side to the other. He’s clearly trying to see something which might be interesting and look good in the shopping cart among the other things his mum has chosen. He sees something colourful a little further in the aisle. He makes grabby hands towards their way. 

“Walk?” Jay asks, when she steadies Louis in her arms. 

“I want to walk,” Louis says and as soon as Jay puts him on his feet, he sprints off towards the interesting new thing. Jay looks after him, picking up flour from the shelf. She sees Louis taking something from one of the shelves, tip toeing to reach whatever he has found. 

“Louis?” She calls after him. He looks towards his mum, a wide smile on his face. 

“Look!” He cheers with his high, child voice. He reaches towards the shelf, pulling out a carton of orange juice. The bright orange fruits on the packaging make Jay remember the thing she forgot from her shopping list. Jay walks to him and he looks at his mum enthusiastically. 

“Let’s put it in the cart. Thank you, Lou,” she takes the juice from Louis and puts it next to carrots and eggs. 

They keep on filling the cart with food from Jay’s shopping list. Louis brings an occasional jar of jam or a can of cat food or a toilet brush, which Jay has to turn down. They bring the random things back to their places and Louis looks at them sadly, before he sees something which takes his mind elsewhere. 

 

They get closer to the cash register. A girl with a light brown hair greets a customer in front of Jay and Louis. He’s staring at her hands, while she beeps the different products with the barcode scanner. Jay holds Louis in his arms while emptying the cart on the checkout. She glances at Louis and sees how his eyes get bigger and bigger every time the machine beeps. 

“Beep, beep…” She hears Louis’ voice, which tries to imitate the machine. 

“Is it interesting?” She asks, her head tilting to see her son’s face better. 

“Mmhmm!” He says and his face lights up with a proud smile. The machine makes the high sound again, making Louis turn his head towards the cashier. 

“Beep,” he says, and the cashier smiles at him. Jay gives Louis’ cheek a kiss with a loud smack. Louis’ eyes crinkle shut when he smiles. 

 

“Hello!” The cashier greets them and looks at Louis with joy in her eyes. She starts to go through their purchases. Louis reaches towards her to see what she’s doing and the girl looks up to see his curious gaze. 

“Hi there,” she says and waves at Louis quickly before she goes back to her work. Louis smiles shyly, hiding his face in his mother’s neck. 

“Awww, you have a beautiful son,” she says to Jay, who strokes Louis’ back gently. 

“Thank you, he’s my world,” she says and leans her head to his for a moment. 

“I’ll put you down for a moment, Lou, just stand here next to mum,” she says, while she pays for the food. She can hear him waddling somewhere, her senses on high alert. 

“Thank you,” she smiles at the girl behind the till and turns to see where Louis went. She doesn’t have to look for long, because he’s right next to her, on the opposite till. He’s staring at a chubby cheeked baby in a stroller. Jay smiles adoringly and walks behind Louis, kneeling down and wrapping her arms around her son. 

 

“Who is this? Is the baby your friend?” She asks, but Louis can’t get a word out from his mouth. 

“Hi!” A woman with dark brown hair greets them, stuffing her wallet into her bag. 

“Hi, I’m sorry, my son seems very interested in your child,” Jay apologises, standing up. 

“Oh, little Harry has an admirer,” the woman smiles, looking down at the kids. She smiles a little wider, before she starts to laugh. Jay doesn’t understand what she’s laughing about before she directs her gaze at the children. 

 

Louis is slowly caressing the baby’s cheek. He’s looking into bright green, wide eyes, which seem to look at Louis in wonderment. Louis picks the baby’s hand into his and holds it. He looks at it and then at Harry, who starts to chuckle with his cute baby voice. He doesn’t have any teeth yet and it makes his smile even funnier. The bubbly giggles sound like they’d be coming from his round belly. His eyes get almost shut from laughing. 

Louis looks at Jay and then back to Harry. He smiles at the baby, and holds the baby’s hand a bit tighter. 

“You have such a cute little child,” Jay says midst of her light laugh. 

“You too. Oh goodness, I love children. Especially small children. They’re still so innocent and pure.” The woman sighs, a content smile on her face. 

“Does little Harry have any siblings?” Jay asks. Her heart feels like bursting from seeing Louis treating Harry like a fragile flower. 

“Yes, a sister. She’s four years older than him, but she’s still my baby.” 

“I guess they never stop being your babies.” The woman hums at that. 

 

Jay kneels back down behind Louis, when she sees other customers getting a bit annoyed about the people blocking the checkout. Her hand holds Louis and the other reaches towards Harry. She strokes his belly a couple of times. Harry looks at her in shock, his giggles ending to a wall. Louis lets go off Harry’s hand, bringing it up to his face. 

“It’s okay,” Louis says and touches Harry’s cheek gently. It reminds Jay of a cat, which reaches its paw towards an interesting object, but is too afraid to touch it properly. Harry starts to smile again, a couple of giggles escaping.

 

“I think we have to go now, Lou, what do you think?” 

“Not yet,” he says and moves his hand to hold Harry’s. 

“But I think we need to let Harry go home take a nap,” Jay reasons and hears Louis sighing. He lets go of Harry’s hand reluctantly, his face turning from smiling to his brows pulling down into a sad frown. 

“Your son is a very precious child,” the woman says, pushing Harry forward in his stroller. 

“Thank you, so is yours,” Jay smiles at the lady, waving at Harry. 

“It was nice meeting you,” the woman looks at Jay and then at Louis, who’s gripping his mother’s hand like it’d be a security blanket.

“You too, have a great day,” Jay wishes. 

“Let’s say goodbye to Harry,” Jay encourages Louis, who starts to wave. 

“Bye Harry,” Jay speaks quietly into Louis’ ear. 

“Bye Hawwy,” he says quietly, his r’s too soft to create the actual sound. The woman waves at them the last time before she leaves with little Harry in his stroller. Louis looks after them longingly. 

 

“Let’s get our groceries and go home, okay?” Jay asks Louis, who seems like he’s made out of stone. He nods determinately, wrapping his arms around Jay’s neck. She lets Louis help her pack the grocery bags by handing him the lightest things and letting him drop them into the bag. She sees how disappointed Louis looks and she can only guess it’s because of Harry leaving. She can’t stop thinking if she made a mistake by not asking the woman’s number. They could’ve arranged play dates and what not. She’s sure Louis would’ve been gentle with Harry, better yet, she knows it. 

Louis falls asleep on the car ride home and Jay can only wish he won’t be sad for too long. Maybe, when she’ll give him those grapes and go to the park later, he can find something else as interesting as baby Harry. 

 

\- - - -

 

Louis has been home for a while now. He has been thinking about this moment for so long. The different scenarios and the different ways to tell his mum. The different things she could say to him in return. 

He has been planning this for a while now. It’s making him insane and now, when the day is here, he is feeling nauseous. So nauseous he couldn’t focus in school. He thought he was going to pass out when he was on recess. He thought he was going to be sick when he was doing a math test. The pencil kept shaking and his hand felt sweaty. His teacher sent him home early, because she saw how sick he felt. She kept asking if he should go to the nurse’s office, but he convinced her that it’s nothing. That he’s going to be fine. That his mum is a nurse and will take good care of him. 

Now, as he’s sitting on his bed in his room, he’s feeling a bit better. This is the place where he has been mulling the whole thing over and this is the place where he feels most comfortable. 

 

His sisters are going to some friend’s place after school. Lottie promised to take Fizzy with her, when Louis asked her. Of course she was curious why Fizzy can’t come home right after school, but Louis begged and begged for her to just listen to him and do what she’s told. She’s in that odd place where she likes to tease Louis a lot, even though it’s just very harmless. For Louis it’s not that funny. He has so much on his mind all the time and he blames his age for it. 14. Fucking fourteen. 

He hates the word teen. Why can’t he be just four, when things were so much easier and no one didn’t look at him when he was holding his best friend’s hand. No one questioned anything and now it seems like everyone are questioning everything. Like it wouldn’t be hard enough to be a weird, awkward and confused teenager. 

He hasn’t come out to any of his friends yet. His mum is going to be the first. He thinks that’s why it’s so nerve wracking to do it. He hasn’t even thought about the point that it’s actually his mum who he’s going to tell it to. 

 

“Oh fuck,” he whispers in his quiet room. He’s telling his mum. His _mum_! Why hasn’t it crossed his mind earlier!? He was so focused on the whole “I’m gay” part, that he forgot who he’s telling it to. He could only imagine his mum’s smiling face, the one he’s used to. Not the person behind it. 

He buries his face into his hands. This isn’t going to go well. The disgusting feeling in his gut is making its way back to his throat, creating a huge lump and he feels like he can’t breathe. He’s trying to breathe calmly, in through his nose and out through his mouth. But it seems to make it even worse. 

Maybe this isn’t the right time for this. Maybe he doesn’t have to do this now. Well, he doesn’t have to do anything. But he’s finally realising who he is. He’s seeing himself as a young man, who can later present himself as a proud gay man. It sounds so silly in his mind. But when he finally realised it, he felt so relieved. He wants to share that relief with his mum. 

 

He has kind of known about his interests since he was very young. There was a girl in first grade, who liked to tease him. She took his crayons and stole his hat and sometimes shoes. The teacher told Louis that the girl has a crush on him. The whole idea of her having a crush on him felt confusing. How can she have a crush on him when he doesn’t have a crush on her? 

He looked at her, studied her ways and tried to figure out how she has a crush on him. He was so young and still thought about it like he was trying to defuse a bomb. She had a group of friends and he was trying to get himself to have a crush on her. What happened to him was something unexpected. He created a crush on Tim, a friend of hers in the group. He didn’t know what was happening; if it’s okay for him to like the boy like that. 

He can still remember the moment, when he was looking at his class mate and he felt something stirring inside of him. He looked at the girls and nothing happened. And when he was near that boy, it felt like his insides were melting. 

That’s when he knew he had a crush on someone, but of course it scared him. How is it possible for him to like a boy, when the other boys were talking about girls? It was the oddest of moments and he didn’t understand it. Until later. Later, as in five months ago. 

 

He was going home after school, taking the bus like he normally does. He was staring at people on the street, until he saw something which he didn’t first believe. How hadn’t he noticed something like this before? Maybe it was because the matter hadn’t kept him awake at night until that point. Until he had turned 14, that bastard age which makes everything hard. 

Spring was in full bloom. The sun was shining and it actually felt warm on his skin. He liked the smell of the fresh air, which reminded him of summer. At that moment, he was able to push his thoughts aside for a moment and just enjoy the time being. Until he saw two guys from the bus window. They were walking on the street, hand in hand. The other had a cone of ice cream in his hand and the other was laughing so hard that Louis could imagine his voice in his mind. 

 

Louis jumped off the bus at the next stop. He ran after those two guys, his feet hitting the pavement like he would’ve been running away from something. The guys heard his heavy breathing and his steps from far away and turned to look back. They didn’t care about Louis, but the other kept standing there like he could’ve sensed Louis had something to say. 

“Hi,” Louis panted, leaning against his knees. 

“Hi!” The other one was smiling. The other reached his hand out and touched Louis’ shoulder, “You okay there?” 

Louis stood upright and looked at the couple. They were staring at each other for a long moment, before Louis pointed at their hands. The taller of the guys, with blond hair and blue eyes, looked defensive right away. 

“Yes?” The other with a buzz cut asked. He seemed more approachable and Louis directed his question at him. 

“You’re walking hand in hand?” He swallowed thickly, his fingers prickling. They were both waiting for something else and at that moment Louis felt stupid. What the hell is he doing!?

 

“So what, we can walk hand in hand,” the guy with the blond hair asked. 

“No, no,” Louis lifted his hands in front of him, trying to come up with something to say. 

“What is it then?” 

“I was just wondering…” He knew his cheeks were crimson red. 

“Do you like each other?” He continued and looked around himself to see if anyone else had heard him. 

The guys in front of him glanced at each other and smiled at each other. 

 

“Yes,” they nodded in unison. 

“Do you love each other?” Louis felt the question at the tip of his tongue and it just flowed out. 

“Yes,” The short haired man smiled even more widely, his eyes drifting to his partner. 

“What…” Louis took a breath and closed his eyes. 

“When did you know you liked… boys?” He opened his eyes and they were wide with curiosity. 

“Jamie, I think we need to tell this young man here, what being gay means,” the blond one said, smiling at Louis. 

“Do you have a bit of time? Can you maybe walk with us for a while?” Jamie asked, inviting Louis along. 

“I have time,” Louis nodded frantically, ready to hear whatever they had to tell him. 

“That’s Matt, by the way,” Jamie pointed his hand at Matt’s direction. 

“I’m Louis,” he introduced himself. 

 

That’s how he found out what his feelings meant. That it wasn’t odd or weird or wrong. He doesn’t know why he hadn’t talked with his mum about it, asked what it all meant; why didn’t he have a crush on a girl when everyone else did. Maybe it was because she is his mum. But even his mates hadn’t talked about anything considering his sexuality. It was all on him, he had to figure it out on his own. 

Of course, he knew what the word meant. It wasn’t like he was brought up under a stone, where he’s supposed to not know anything about gays. Of course he had seen gay people before, but they started to pop up everywhere he went. He started to feel like there was something wrong with him, when he was imagining himself with a guy, walking hand in hand, sharing kisses. Of course he couldn’t be gay. He was Louis. Deep down he knew it meant something special. That there really is a reason for him to look at the guys and not the girls. He knew it but he didn’t want to admit it. 

He has been tasting the word _gay_ in his mouth for the past months. He has rolled it around, felt it on his tongue. At night, when the house is quiet, he hasn’t been able to close his eyes. He has been staring at nothing in his dark room and he has whispered the word to no one’s ears. He has gotten confident with it, he has made it his own. 

 

Louis takes a piece of paper and sticks it on their front door with a piece of sticky tape. He looks at it, like it’d be a world famous painting, and then nods his head. It advises his mum to come see Louis in his room. He runs back inside, and locks himself into his room. Then he realises that he can’t have the door locked, his mum has to come inside. He unlocks it and goes to sit on his bed. 

His mum is supposed to come home in less than fifteen minutes and it terrifies him. He’s going to tell his mum! His stomach is doing back flips and his palms are sweating. He wipes them against his thighs, but it seems to make it worse. 

 

He can hear the car on their driveway. He hears the engine turning off and the doors opening and closing. Louis doesn’t know if he’s still breathing or not. It’s now or never and he doesn’t know if he still wants to do it. 

“Louis?” He can hear his mum. Her shoes hit the floor and the sound echoes in his head like her coming into his room would end in blood and horror movie-esque scenes. Maybe it will, who knows. At least in Louis’ mind the moment is like waiting for an axe murderer. 

 

“Are you in here?” Johanna’s voice is worried and she knocks on the door. 

“Yeah, come in,” Louis sounds stiff. He stands up, rubbing his palms against his trousers. 

“What’s wrong, honey?” She leaves the door open, but Louis hurries to close it. 

“Has something happened? Your teacher called me today, you had left early…” She sits on his bed. Maybe she’s thinking about something much worse than it really is. Louis sits in front of her, on the floor, crossing his legs. He can’t look at his mum, instead he’s looking at his hands, twisting his fingers. 

“You’re scaring me,” she whispers and Louis looks up. Her eyes have welled up with tears and her lower lip is quivering. 

“No, mum, it’s nothing serious. Or bad. Or something that should make you cry,” he breathes the last word out. When he sees his mum like this, trying to hold her tears in, he knows this can’t go well. He’s going to cry and he doesn’t want to. This is supposed to be good! Not something to cry over about. 

 

“I left school early, because I wasn’t feeling too well,” he clears up. Her brows knit together and she’s waiting for him to tell her what’s going on. 

“So, I… The girls aren’t here so I thought this’d be a good time for this…” He knows he’s talking too lowly and he knows Jay is hearing every word. He can’t hide now. 

“I don’t know how to tell you this and how you’ll take this…”

“Whatever it is, I’m going to be here for you. You can tell me anything,” she stops him and her words make his mind tumble. He doesn’t know how to continue. It was hard enough for him to even start saying anything and the hardest part is still ahead. 

 

“Okay, soooo… A few months ago, I met a couple of guys…” 

“Are you in some sort of trouble? Are they bullying you?” 

“No, mum, listen. I want you to stay quiet, because this isn’t easy!” He says it too loudly and too aggressively. He takes a deep breath in and blows it out. 

“Sorry,” he looks up and sees Jay on the edge of the bed. Her eyes are telling him to keep going, but her expression is telling him to keep it light. She’s going to cry, no matter what. 

 

“So I met these guys, who were walking on the street…” Louis closes his eyes. Embarrassment washes over him even though there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. 

“And they were holding hands…” Louis looks up, seeing his mum’s wide eyes. The air stands still between them and Louis looks back down at his hands. 

“For a while now I’ve known about something, but I didn’t know what was happening or why I was like that or if it was a real thing… If it was okay…” 

He can hear a single quiet sob being released from Jay’s lungs, but he keeps on going. So far so good. 

“They told me about it, you know… That some boys like boys and there’s nothing wrong with that…” 

 

He looks up. Jay is more than crying. She’s ugly crying. That’s what they call it. She stumbles to her knees and wraps him into a warm hug. He hears the cries which shake her body and he’s trying so hard not to cry too. But it’s getting more and more difficult. 

“Oh Louis,” she says into his ear, her voice only a whisper. Her hand strokes the back of his head, her wet cheeks against his neck. 

“Mum, I need to say it,” he says, his head still tilted downwards. She brings her hands to his cheeks and lifts his face up. Her hands are wet from her own tears and soon they’ll be wet from his tears too. 

 

“I’m…” She’s nodding her head. 

“Mum, I’m gay,” he lets the words dribble from his mouth with a deep breath and it feels like he has set a huge animal free. It might be standing behind him, crowding the room, but it’s out there. 

“Oh, Louis!” she cries and she lets her sobs shake them both. Louis wraps his arms around his mum and cries against her neck. 

“Oh, Louis, I’m so proud of you!” She cups his cheeks again, looking into his eyes. 

“You don’t even know how proud I am,” she kisses his cheeks and starts to laugh midway. 

“You are?” Louis asks, more incredulous than he was supposed to make the question sound. 

“Of course I am! You’re my son, my first born, and I’m so happy that you’ve found yourself!” She pulls him into another hug. It crushes him against Jay and he feels more sobs trembling in his lungs.

 

“Never be ashamed of who you are, remember that. You’re you and you are loved and special.” 

Louis presses his face against Jay’s neck and feels safe. He didn’t expect this to happen; crying like this with his mum. He was thinking about smiles and some congratulatory hugs and maybe an “I love you”. He never though coming out would be this exhausting, this emotional and this huge. 

The elephant in the room squeezes itself out. It walks into the hallway and out the door, to the street outside. It disappears and Louis feels like he has finally figured some part of himself out. 

 

\- - - -

 

Gemma looks at the posh looking house. Bass is shaking the leaves in the trees and she can hear people talking, laughing and yelling inside from the opened windows. She doesn’t know why no one has called the police to end the clearly out of hand party. 

Either way, she needs to find Harry. He texted her about half an hour ago, in the middle of the best part in _Pretty Woman_ , which she was watching with their mum and Robin. They know Harry is at the party, but she guesses their parents don’t know what kind of a party it turned out to be. She also knows Harry is drunk as a skunk. The message he sent said something in the lines of how he has to get home, but can’t get there on his own.

The real message was “I as t getting gnome ole comes get me”, paired with a lot of emojis which don’t make any sense in the context. She gives the text another look, shakes her head and starts walking towards the house. 

She has to thank sober-Harry for giving the address beforehand although she might’ve gotten there only by following the music. 

The closer she gets, the louder the noise from inside the house gets. Someone rushes out from the front door, a guy in his 20’s. He’s chased by two laughing girls, who are throwing whipped cream on him. They leave the door open. Gemma sees the crowd of guests awfully drunk, dancing and some are taking clothes off. Some are already only in their underwear. 

She watches out for the whipped cream on the floor, and thinks she has to get a drink soon, too. She doesn’t close the door; maybe those three will run back inside when they’ve ran out of cream. 

The living room has been turned into a huge club. All the furniture has been pushed aside to give room for the people, who are grinding on each other and jumping around. The music is so loud that it starts to hurt her ears. Someone grabs her arm and forces her to turn around. 

 

“Gemmaaaaa!” The young man yells and pulls her into a crushing, sweaty hug. She doesn’t have time to put her arms around the man, and maybe she doesn’t even want to, before she’s pushed away. 

“Liam!” Gemma looks at him, not first realising who he is. He keeps holding onto her arms, almost leaning to her. He doesn’t look like himself, his hair smeared with something which looks a lot like the jelly from jello shots. He has lost his shirt somewhere and his eyes are half shut. Maybe his head is absorbing the alcohol from the jelly in his hair. 

“I was wondering when you’d come ‘ere!” He leans forward, his mouth against her ear. He slurs his words and the music almost drowns his voice. 

“I’m not here for the party, I’m looking for Harry!” Gemma thinks Liam doesn’t really hear what she says. He’s looking at her with a smile on his lips. He nods like he’d be answering to something Gemma would’ve asked. Gemma leans against his ear again, filling her lungs with air, which isn’t the freshest. 

“Have you seen Harry!?” Her throat hurts from yelling, but when she leans back, he looks like he finally understood what she wanted. 

“No! Look from the kitchen!” He pats her arms, his head bobbing to the beat of the music. She smiles at him, giving him a thumbs up. She’s not going to start talking in this noise anymore, she decides. Liam turns away from her and starts to dance with his other friends. Someone pushes a shot into his hand and he downs it in one swift movement. The small group, which he’s with, starts yelling and cheering, jumping in the air at the same time as the bass drops. 

 

Gemma finds the kitchen. It’s filled with more drunk people. The two girls, who were chasing the guy with the whipped cream, are looking for something from the fridge. They throw food out and it splats on the floor next to their feet. All the table tops are filled with bottles and shot glasses. She recognises the jello shot cups, filled with red and green. But there’s no Harry. She’s trying to find someone, who she knows, but every face looks unfamiliar to her. 

A scream shrills her ears and before she knows what’s happening, something splats against her back. 

“I’m so, so, so, so, so, so, so…” 

“Sorry!” The two girls are staring at her, a bowl of what looks like jam in the other’s hands. 

“We were aiming at Ricky, but my friend here doesn’t know how to throw anything!” The other of the two yells, grinning. 

Gemma smiles tightly at them. She can feel the cold stuff falling off her back in small bits and she knows at least a part of her hair must be messed with the red thing too. 

“No worries!” She answers them. The girls smile sweetly, before they’re after Ricky, who has been hit with whipped cream. 

 

She doesn’t think it twice before she reaches for the jello shot table, taking one and swallowing it. She doesn’t really enjoy taking them, but she can’t handle the craziness without taking one. She throws the empty plastic shot cup into the trash bin and keeps on looking for her brother. She comes back into the hallway. People are throwing rolls of toilet paper down from upstairs, creating white curtains against the railing. Some of the rolls get stuck in the lights on the ceiling and fall into the hallway. 

She feels her phone buzzing in her pocket. She digs it out, seeing a new message from Harry. She opens it and a bunch of emojis pop to the screen. Most of them are the one with the girl holding her hand out. She waits for a new message, but when that doesn’t come, she pockets her phone again. 

 

The stairs are covered with something which makes the steps very slimey. She holds onto the railing, her feet slipping. The shot, she took, starts to feel in her legs. They are a bit heavy, which makes the way upstairs a challenge. 

Gemma opens the doors upstairs. In one room a couple are in the middle of a heated kiss. A game of spin the bottle is taking place in one room. Someone’s crying in one and he’s surrounded with his group of friends. She reaches a bathroom and the lights are out. But it’s packed with people. 

The people are holding flashlights in their hands. The loud beat downstairs echoes the best in the small bathroom and sweat bursts through her skin even when she’s not in the room. Hot air streams out and then she spots him. 

Harry is jumping, his shiny curls tangled and sticking to his forehead. He has his eyes closed and he’s mouthing the words to the song which is playing downstairs. He’s holding a flashlight, swirling it in the air. His head moves with the beat and his free hand is in the air, swinging from side to side. 

“Close the door!” One of the girls pulls Gemma inside, shutting the door after her. She’s handed a bottle of something very strong, but she hands it back and makes her way towards Harry. She sees how someone offers Harry a cup of something. He gladly throws the whole drink into his mouth and swallows it. Then he’s dancing again, his eyes scrunching shut as he yells the lyrics with everyone else in the small bathroom. 

 

“Harry!” She calls, getting her brother’s attention, but his reaction skills lag behind. 

“Gems!” He slurs and stumbles towards her. He bumps into someone and the drink in their hand spills from the cup and straight to Gemma’s shirt. 

“Geeeems,” he whines, but laughs. 

“Why the hell have you drunk yourself into this state!?” 

“I didn’t mean to!” He leans his weight to her and he barely stays on his feet. 

“What if we get caught!? Mum is going to kill you,” she shakes her head, trying to breathe in the humid bathroom. 

 

“Gemma!” Someone else notices her and soon an arm wraps around her shoulders. 

“Niallll!” Harry shouts and laughs uncontrollably. 

“Harrryyyy!” Niall answers and laughs with Harry. 

“Hi Niall, can you please help me get Harry out?” 

“Sure!” 

 

They go on either side of Harry and they drag him into the hallway. 

“What’s this?” She sees Harry’s face and can’t believe how it has happened. His face has been used as a sketch sheet and now he has great, black moustache and whiskers. He also has very impressive eyelashes drawn onto his face and the word “gentelman” written to his forehead. 

“What’s a gentelman?” Niall asks, looking at Harry, who grins and his eyes go cross for a moment. 

“The girls said I’m such a gentleman, but I think they were a bit drunk…” he whisper shouts, like someone would be listening to them and making sure Harry doesn’t spill the beans on “the girls”. 

 

“Oh lord,” Gemma sighs, sitting Harry on the floor. 

“What’s happened to your shirt?” Niall asks, his hand touching the stain on Gemma’s back. 

“I don’t even know what it is, someone threw it on me accidentally,” she shakes her head, trying to rub the black drawings off of Harry’s face. He grimaces and his face only becomes red from the rubbed areas. Niall takes some of the red off of Gemma’s shirt to his finger and sticks it into his mouth. 

“Mmmm, cherry jam!” He cheers, his eyes lighting up. 

“Oh, yay,” Gemma fake cheers. 

Harry keeps humming the song which played five songs ago. He remembers some of the words, belting them out loudly. He lifts his hands up, his fingers poking the air. 

 

“We need to get at least some of the paint off his face,” Gemma says out loud. 

“They have an extra toilet in the master bedroom, but I don’t think the guests are allowed to go in there,” Niall says, nodding his head towards a door at the end of the hallway. 

“Well… We’re not going to tell anyone,” Gemma smiles at Niall. They get Harry to his feet, almost dragging him into the master bedroom and to the small bathroom there. Harry keeps humming the songs, which echo from downstairs. He is like in another world, somewhere where he’s the happiest and can feel himself free. 

They sit him on the side of the tub. Niall sits next to him, so he won’t fall into it. Gemma wets a towel and starts to rub the drawings from Harry’s face. The white terrycloth becomes darker and darker, the more colouring Gemma gets off from Harry’s skin. 

“Whose house is this anyway?” Gemma mutters. Niall drinks from his cup, thinking for a moment. 

“I think this is Yusuf’s house. His parents are somewhere on holiday, but I don’t think he was allowed to host a party this big,” Niall nods his head, like he’d agree the party is quite major. 

 

“Did you hear that?” Niall asks, whispering and looking at Gemma with big eyes. They look at each other and then towards the door. Someone is in the room. They get closer to the bathroom door. Someone grabs the handle, opening the door slowly. 

“Harry?” A girl’s voice silently asks. Gemma and Niall are waiting for the person to show themselves. Harry is also looking towards the door, but he might not even know what’s happening. His eyes are half shut and he’s leaning against Niall’s body like it could be the comfiest mattress. 

 

“Oh, hello,” A girl with dark hair smiles at the group. She’s followed by four others, two of them very familiar with Gemma already. 

“We thought Harry might need some water,” the brunette offers a bottle of water towards Harry, who tries to reach for it. 

“I’m Elise,” she introduces and hands the water to Harry who cradles it in his arms. 

“And these are Anna, Meghan, Dina and Kate,” she points her hand towards her friends, two of them carrying a bowl of what happens to be cherry jam. 

 

“It’s you! Now that you’re here, we have to help you clean your shirt. We’re still extremely sorry,” Kate offers, pushing the bowl in Dina’s hands. 

“No, it’s fine, there’s really no need…” Gemma doesn’t get another words out from her mouth, before Kate is ripping her shirt off and soaks it in the sink. She feels so naked only in her bra. But she decides to not care, Harry’s face is still half covered in that black ink. 

She turns around to see Niall staring at her. He clearly doesn’t see Gemma noticing, until she swats his arm with the towel. 

“Ouch, sorry!” He yelps, his eyes drifting towards the floor. 

 

Harry is trying to open the bottle, but his strength has been thrown out the window by the time he drank his tenth drink. 

“Can you help him?” Gemma asks Niall pleadingly, almost feeling sorry for her brother. She can’t understand why he drank this much. Though, she does know that his head can’t take alcohol very well. He’s going to suffer tomorrow. Not only because he has a terrible hangover, but because their mum will definitely find out after she sees Harry’s face. 

Niall hands Harry the water, who sips it gratefully. 

 

Harry’s face is almost clean. She didn’t get the ink completely off his face, but it’s better than before. Niall and Gemma help Harry up, who stumbles with his own feet. The girls are still in the bathroom with them, eating from the bowl of jam. Harry hums a song, the girls joining him from time to time. They sing the words quietly, almost like they’d have their own little party. 

“Here’s your shirt,” Kate hangs the wet shirt in her hands, watching how it drips water on the floor. 

“She can’t wear that!” Dina throws her hands in the air exasperatedly, looking at Kate with annoyance. 

“You’re right… Take this,” Kate throws the shirt towards Gemma and it splats against her chest. 

“Here,” Kate gives Gemma her top; it’s very open and filled with rhinestones. 

“I can’t take that,” Gemma looks at Kate, who is very confident only in her bra. 

“Of course you can! Ask Harry to bring it back to me at some point,” she smiles, handing her shirt to Gemma. She wears it, and she has to admit, it’s better than nothing. 

“Let’s get Harry downstairs,” Elise chimes in and Harry smiles at her, after hearing his own name. 

“Thanks for the top,” Gemma smiles at Kate, who holds her head high and looks like she’s proud to have helped Gemma. 

 

“Harry?” A guy at the bottom of the stairs asks. 

“Will!” Harry enthuses, leaving Niall and Gemma, walking down to meet the guy. They hug and Harry leans his whole weight to the other boy. He’s about Harry’s age, Gemma thinks. His olive skin is warm compared to Harry’s pale complexion. His brown eyes are happy and she can see the long dark lashes from even further away. 

“Are you leaving already?” 

“Mmmmm,” Harry mumbles and Gemma steps by his side. 

“Hi! I do think we’re going to leave,” Gemma smiles at Will, who strokes his hands up and down Harry’s back. 

“Oh, okay.”

 

Harry leans back, throwing his arm around Gemma’s shoulder. 

“Isn’t my sister the best?” He asks, planting a kiss on her cheek. Gemma chuckles, her eyes on Will. 

“You’re his sister? He’s told me a lot about you,” Will smiles, holding a cup in his hands. He takes a sip from it, his eyes travelling back to Harry. 

“I’ll call you?”

“Not if I call you first,” Harry leans towards him, his hand travelling to pinch Will’s waist. He squeaks, pulling away. Harry pouts, his hand trying to reach Will again. 

“I think I didn’t give you my number, you only gave me yours?”

“I think I’ll find you anyway,” Harry smacks his lips together and blows him a kiss. Will’s cheeks blush and his hand rises to the back of his neck. 

“Byyyyeeee, Will,” Harry coos, walking flamboyantly out on his own. 

“It was nice meeting you, Will,” Gemma smiles at him, running after her brother. 

“Bye,” Will waves his hand. Niall pats him on the shoulder, trying to reach Gemma and Harry. The girls stand behind Will, Kate and Dina holding the half empty bowl of jam. 

“You’d look cute together!” Anna and Meghan hold hands and talk at the same time, excitement clear in their voices. Will gives them a glance, but his focus is on Harry, who he can still see from the open door. 

 

“Do you mind if I stay here? Do you need help getting him home?” Niall asks Gemma, after they’ve both reached Harry and are walking briskly away from the loud party. 

“No, no, we’ll be fine! Go, enjoy!” Gemma smiles and turns towards him. 

“Give me a call if you need anything,” Niall reminds her, turning away and running back into the house. Gemma didn’t even notice he didn’t have a shirt on until now. At least it’s not cold, he’ll survive. She hears a tumbling sound and turns around to see Harry on the ground, laying on his side on the side of the pavement. 

 

“Harry!” She yells, running to him. 

“Geeems,” he laughs, gripping the grass. 

“Are you okay?” 

“Very!” He chirps, stumbling to his feet. Gemma holds him by his elbow, guiding him towards home. 

 

“Did you have fun?” Gemma asks him and receives a laugh. 

“It was the best!” 

“Who was the guy?” She knows who he is. She has seen the two sometimes in the same group of people, but apparently they haven’t been that close. At least considering that Will didn’t have Harry’s number. She has also seen the heart eyes Will has given to Harry and how Harry has blushed. It’s almost absurd they haven’t become a couple yet. 

 

Harry’s blushing now too. 

“Will?”

“Yeah!” 

“He’s someone,” he slurs and smiles. Gemma knows she’ll not get a better answer from him. Well, maybe she’ll meet Will soon enough. 

 

“Thanks, Gems, for getting me.” Harry leans his head on her shoulder and he breathes deeply. 

“Anything for my brother,” she says and kisses his forehead. 

Harry starts to hum some song again, his hand on her shoulder. He’s swaying them from side to side. Gemma knows the song and follows Harry’s lead. Soon they’re both singing the song, spreading their arms out, playing some diva pop stars, in the warm summer night. 

 

\- - - -

 

Louis takes one last look in the mirror, fixing his fringe. It doesn’t look right. He pushes his fingers through it, lifting his hair up into a quiff. It’s better, but he’s just not having a good hair day. It makes every style look flat and outright wrong. He checks his teeth, just to make sure there’s nothing between them. They look clean and white, as they should. 

He puts on his jacket, wraps a scarf around his neck and puts on his shoes. As he gets up, his sight goes all starry and he can’t see anything for a moment. He’s blaming for the three glasses of white wine he had earlier to calm his nerves. He’s not used to going out for blind dates, but apparently he’s doing it tonight. The guy is called Scott, and from the chat’s they’ve had, Louis can only imagine him to be very attractive. He’s very flirtatious and confident, which is completely fine with Louis. He likes confident guys. Louis hasn’t seen him, not even a picture, and it terrifies him a little. Nevertheless, he has his hopes up and he’s being optimistic. Louis doesn’t really know if tonight’s going to go well or not. He’s so nervous, that even his eye sight is shaking. 

One last look in the mirror and he’s out the door. Louis knows he’s a bit early, but it’s fine. At least he’ll get to calm himself a bit at the table and he doesn’t have to dive right in on some date talk. They’ve planned to go to this Italian place, which is quite fancy and it has the best pasta in the whole city. At least in Louis’ opinion. 

 

The cab ride goes by too quickly. He can feel sweat stains forming under his arms and he can just hope they disappear as quickly as they formed. 

He pays for the ride, stepping onto the street right in front of the entrance of the restaurant. Even the windy weather can’t take his nervousness away, or the way his body temperature is rising through the roof. He thinks his cheeks are blushing, which doesn’t look pretty, when it’s blotchy and looks like he has just bawled his eyes out. 

 

“Hello, welcome to Gustoso! Do you have a reservation?” A young, happy looking woman asks with her eyes glinting in the faint lighting. 

“Uh, no, I’ll be waiting for someone to join me in a bit,” Louis says, taking off his scarf. 

“Okay, so two?” 

“Yes,” Louis nods and sees the waitress take two menus with her. 

“Right this way,” she says and Louis follows her. She guides him to sit by the window, to a two seating table. 

“Thank you,” the waitress sets the menus on the table and Louis smiles at her. He hangs his coat to a jacket stand and sits down. A candle burns gently at the middle of the table, in a glass candleholder. Sitting there, waiting, and seeing people walk in, makes Louis’ hands sweat and he feels like he’s on a date with his destiny. He doesn’t really believe in destiny and all that shit, but this meeting seems like a turning point. 

 

He’s wearing tight black jeans and a burgundy button down. Scott is going to wear a black button down, at least that’s what they agreed. They were thinking if they should have like a flower or a scarf or even some sort of a hat so they’ll know who to look for in the restaurant. It’s good they didn’t go with the hats, Louis’ hair would’ve been even more ruined. 

The little flicker of the flame on the candle hypnotises Louis. His mind goes somewhere, which calms him in some weird way. He can’t get rid of the thought of this date being somehow mind altering. It has to be, because he hasn’t been dating in a while. It was his sister, who persuaded him to go out on a blind date. He has never seen Scott before, he only has Scott’s number.

This whole dating thing makes him stressed. Earlier he signed up to a dating app, and it was a horrible experience. It kept sending him notifications during work meetings and while he was supposed to be doing some important paper work. Even his free time with a wine glass in his hand and good music became stressful after making a profile in the app. He deleted it, because he was so sick and tired of guys asking him out and suggesting dirty things to him. Then Lottie suggested Scott for Louis. He’s someone from her internship at some fancy magazine. Louis and Scott have been talking for two weeks and finally they managed to fit a date into their schedules. 

The flicker of the candle reminds him of something else too. Of Brian. A year and a half ago he never thought he’d be going out for dates ever again. He was engaged to Brian, to this great guy who promised the moon from the sky. The whole relationship felt way too comfortable and perfect to be real. And it was just that. 

Brian left because he had fallen back in love with his ex. Six months later they were married and Louis was left stunned and heart broken. He still sometimes feels the sting of being hurt by Brian, but it has dulled down to only a ghost of pain. The first dates he went to were the worst and he knew they were never going to last over one night. 

Now everything seems different. He’s ready to try again. Heart breaks suck, but he’s almost completely sure there’s someone for him too. He has a great job and he’s able to do the things he likes. He owns an apartment and he doesn’t have to be worried to be kicked out from there because of unpaid rent. He can travel if he likes and he can enjoy life. Some other 27 year olds can’t do that and it gives him immense relief. 

 

Louis sits there, his eyes watching the calming flickering. Every time someone steps into the restaurant, his eyes travel to the new comer, only to see someone, who doesn’t fit the description of what Scott is supposed to look like. 

A guy in a black shirt comes in. He’s looking towards Louis, then smiles. Louis straightens his back, smiling back. The guy walks towards him and Louis almost stands up, when the guy walks straight past him to a girl, who is sitting at a table behind Louis. They greet each other with hugs, while Louis turns back towards his empty table, a smile still on his face. 

 

“Hello again! Are you ready to order anything?” The waitress cheerily comes to ask him, but Louis can hear the pitying tone in her voice. 

“Maybe a glass of wine, white. I don’t care what brand, just something which you know is good,” He smiles at her, pretending everything’s great. When she goes, Louis digs his phone from his pocket, and checks the time. 20 past eight. They were supposed to meet at eight. He checks if Scott has sent him a message, but it’s really not necessary. There’s no notification so he already concludes there’s no message either. The nervousness has started to dissolve and it’s being replaced with annoyance. How can the guy be so late!? Then a dangerous thought comes to his mind. What if Scott was there, but then he saw Louis and left? What if he got disappointed with the way Louis looked and already made his mind? 

 

The waitress brings the glass of wine, asking if Louis is still waiting for his date. Louis tells a little white lie; Scott is stuck in traffic and it’ll take him a while longer. She seems to believe him, but when his eyes follow her and find a couple of other waiters waiting for her, and they give her money, he knows she didn’t believe a word. They must’ve bet on if he’s being stood up or not. Louis empties the glass in one go. It makes his throat tingle and he coughs. He orders another, and a third, deciding that if Scott hasn’t shown up by the time he finishes his fourth glass, he’ll leave. 

He’s watching the door, while he lifts the glass to his lips for the last sip. So this was it, his life altering date. It really did alter his life; never go on a blind date ever again and stick to sipping wine at home without being ridiculed at a restaurant. Or better yet, stay out of being bet on by waiters. 

The glass hits the table with a faint clink. He’s already lifting his hand in the air to order a check, when a man runs in. He’s wearing a black button up. He has his jacket on his arm and his cheeks are blushed by the cool wind. He’s looking around the restaurant, his eyes landing on Louis. He smiles and walks swiftly, hanging his jacket on the back of the chair. 

 

“Hi, sorry I’m late, the traffic was crazy!” He waves his hands in the air and rolls his eyes. 

“Scott?” Louis smiles and relaxes against his chair. 

“Actually it’s Harry. I was in the bar on the other side of the street and saw how you’ve been sitting here alone for the past 40 minutes,” he leans towards Louis, whispering his words, pointing towards the bar. Louis looks to the other side of the street, seeing the bar he’s talking about. It’s not like one of those sports bars where the windows are tinted and they seem kind of seedy. The exterior is very nice and Louis can see the people sitting inside. 

“Let’s just go with it? I guess the waiters are already talking if you’ve been stood up or not…” 

“They actually already bet on it,” Louis turns towards the man and watches him sitting confidently in front of Louis. His eyes are bright green, almost jade coloured. His hair looks incredibly soft and he has styled it into a messy quiff. Or maybe it has become dishevelled at the bar. His broad shoulders look strong and his face looks like it has been carved by some god who wanted to see how beautiful someone can be. 

 

“I’m sorry,” he smiles, looking towards the waiters. They are standing in the doorway to the kitchen and the girl hands the two boys their money back discreetly. Her grumpy features say it all; she doesn’t want to lose and now she has to admit her defeat. 

“I don’t think you’ve eaten anything yet?” Harry asks, his mouth curving into a friendly smirk. But it’s not too friendly, not like he’d thank Louis at the end of the evening and walk away. He looks like he’s really interested to know something about Louis. He looks enticing and he knows he’s good at it. 

“No, haven’t, but I’ve been drinking wine so be prepared to be attacked by my feet under the table,” Louis doesn’t know where it comes from. His cheeks blush right away, when the words leave his mouth. Harry chuckles, leaning forward, steadying himself against the table with his elbows. 

“If you take care of the things that happen with our feet, then I’m going to take care of the hand holding,” he smirks, winking his eye. Louis doesn’t really know if he imagined the wink, but it wouldn’t surprise him. This Harry-guy looks like a natural flirt who will wink his eye if he feels like it. Louis feels dumb watching Harry with his mouth open and he certainly wasn’t expecting to hear a counter joke to his lame one. 

 

Harry lifts his hand in the air, looking at the waitress. She walks to their table and Harry looks at the menu quickly. 

“I’ll have the special, the fish. You?” He looks at Louis, his brows rising. 

“Uuhhmmmm…” Louis opens the menu to the the pasta section, just where he wanted. 

“I’ll have the prawn pasta… thing…” He loses all his words when his eyes meet Harry’s. 

“Thank you, I’ll be back with your orders in just a moment,” she takes their menus. 

“And maybe a bottle of wine, white? The best you got…” Harry looks at Louis, his eyes playful. 

“Only the best for my baby,” he finishes. The waitress hears him and shakes her head, trying to cover her smile behind the menus in her hand. Louis knows his mouth is open again, but he doesn’t really know if he should close it. It seems like whatever Harry says, it’ll stun Louis. 

 

“What’s your name? I kind of need that for our blind date,” Harry focuses on Louis completely again, his elbows leaning against the table. 

“Louis,” he says, leaning forward as well. 

“Nice! I like guys whose name just rolls on your tongue. You know… Louis…” Harry says his name slowly, really rolling the letters in his mouth. Somehow even the way he says Louis’ name makes something stir inside of him and it feels like nothing before. Louis doesn’t even know if his heart is beating anymore! Maybe it’s not. He’s too shocked. 

The waitress comes back with the bottle of wine, explaining what it is and what year it was made. Harry is listening to her, but Louis can’t hear anything she’s saying. Harry’s eyes travel back and forth between Louis and the girl, but his eyes linger on Louis the most. 

“We’ll take it,” Harry says and that’s the only thing Louis can hear. The waitress pours the wine into the glasses. 

 

“Let’s toast,” Harry suggests. Louis lifts his glass in the air eagerly, followed by Harry who is smiling a little wider. 

“To this beautiful date night, which, I think, you weren’t expecting to turn out this way.” Louis clinks his glass against Harry’s, tipping it to his mouth. He pours some more for himself, drinking it in one go. 

“I need to slow down or I’ll be really drunk by the end of the evening,” Louis says out loud. His eyes are already reacting a little slower and his sight is a bit hazy. 

“Well, I think I’m going to be very drunk considering that I was drinking a bit stronger stuff than wine,” Harry sets his glass down, getting comfortable on his seat. 

 

“So, Louis, are you disappointed?” 

“With what?” 

“That you didn’t get ‘Scott’, but me?” 

Louis looks at him, not believing his ears. How can this beautiful man ask such a question? The things is that his thoughts aren’t directed toward his real blind date anymore. They’re about this ongoing blind date, which was never supposed to happen. 

 

“Nah, I’m not. You want to know something funny?” 

“Tell me,” Harry leans his cheeks against his knuckles and his eyes look dreamy. Louis knows he’s taking his time to open his mouth again, but this moment feels like the same when he talks with his mum on the phone and then he gets a text which he really needs to answer. Two things in his mind fight for his attention and he doesn’t know which one to give in fully. 

“Well, Scott was supposed to wear a black button down, like you. I told the waitress that he’s late because of the traffic, as did you. I don’t know why to be disappointed. You could be Scott, I wouldn’t know. Maybe you’re not Harry at all,” Louis speculates, his hand whipping in the air at the same time he’s talking. Harry bites his lip, trying to contain his smile. His nose scrunches cutely and Louis doesn’t know how tonight can even be possible. First he was stood up and now he’s on a date with the sweetest and the most wonderful mystery man he has ever met. 

 

“What a coincidence,” Harry chuckles. 

“But I can tell you that I’m Harry. Even my middle name isn’t Scott.” 

“That I won’t have, get out,” Louis fixes his face with fake disappointment, which dissolves into a smile. A loud laugh leaves Harry’s mouth and pretty dimples appear on his cheeks. 

“I can tell you something though…” For what seems like the tenth time, Harry leans forward. Louis follows his moves, their faces getting closer. 

“This other guy, Scott… He’s an idiot for not showing up,” Harry’s face calms like there’d be a storm brewing. Not a bad storm. More like a very wild ride and Louis is happy to step in. Louis feels his cheeks heating and it might be because of the wine and the way it heats his insides. But he slides his leg out, right between Harry’s and their knees interlock together. 

 

Harry smiles a pleased smile. That determines the rest of the night. The food arrives and they eat slowly, talking and laughing and drinking a bit more. Harry orders another bottle of wine and the more Louis drinks, more relaxed he gets. Harry makes him snicker with dumb jokes which might make him roll his eyes if he was completely sober. Or then not, because the way Harry tells them, the dryness, the way he deadpans them out, gives the jokes spirit. Their food has become cold by the time they’re finished, but it doesn’t really bother Louis or Harry. The food doesn’t taste like something special on a date like this, when their attention is on the person, who’s sitting on the other side of the table. 

Louis learns that Harry is Harry Styles. He makes a joke about his last name, the way he dresses and how his surname must’ve been like a prophecy for him to dress well. They both know it’s a very bad joke, but they still laugh. Harry is 24. He’s a psychologist during the day and a karaoke champion during the night. Louis, for some reason, promises to go out singing karaoke with Harry at some point. That’s a stupid promise and will try to avoid it till the end. 

Harry also tells that he’s living with a flat mate, Niall, who is a “jolly little chap”. Harry has a sister, who lives in Los Angeles because she’s a photographer and a writer. Apparently she’s very famous in her own field of work. She comes home every Christmas and for a month during the summer. Harry says he’s from Manchester, which surprises Louis. They wonder why they’ve never met when they were both living there, and there also is a very obvious reason; Manchester does have quite a lot of residents. More and more Louis talks with Harry, the more he’s convinced he needs to meet Harry again. Maybe this date really was the life altering one. The one, which he’ll remember for the rest of his life. Even if nothing comes out from this, still, Louis will remember this. 

 

“So, thanks for the evening,” Louis says, when they’ve walked out of the restaurant. 

“Thank _you_ ,” Harry smirks, his hands stuffed into his pockets. 

“I’m headed this way,” Louis nods his head behind him. 

“And I’m going to the other way,” Harry nods his head to the opposite direction, biting his lips together. 

“You know, I had a great time, and I’d really like to take you out for real. Just you and me, no Scott’s needed,” Harry says seriously, but his words make Louis chuckle. 

“Okay, I won’t bring Scott’s name with me,” Louis sighs the last giggle out. 

 

“Louis, may I have your number?” Harry asks, his voice serious, sure to make Louis laugh again. 

“Yes, you may,” Louis smiles. Harry gives Louis his phone and Louis taps his number into it. 

“I’ll text you so you’ll get mine.” Harry tucks his phone into his pocket and lifts his eyes to Louis. 

“I had a great time,” Louis feels like this is going to turn very awkward if they’re not going to say their goodbyes soon. 

“Me too,” Harry steps a little closer. 

“So, you’ll text me?” 

“I think you know I will,” Harry answers. He stands right in front of Louis and towers over him. Louis feels small, even though he’s not even a head shorter. But he’s shorter and that has been established now. Harry looks at him for a moment, before he wraps his arms around Louis without hesitation. Louis’ movements are a bit more wary, but when his hands are around Harry, he feels like he’s hugging himself. Such an odd feeling. Harry already feels like a part of himself. 

Or then it’s the wine. 

“Thanks again and I’ll text you,” Harry leans back, his hands still on Louis’ waist at arm’s length. 

“Hear from you soon,” Louis smiles, his mind fuzzy and clear at the same time. This has definitely been the best date he has ever been on. 

“Bye then.” 

“Bye.” They let go and leave. Louis gets the sudden urge to watch Harry walk away. He turns around discreetly and finds Harry already looking. He smiles and turns his head quickly. Louis smiles, his cheeks cramping and his stomach fills with butterflies. 

 

When Louis is going to bed, his phone dings with a new message. 

**“So, I was wondering if you like ice skating?”**

_“Ice skating?”_

**“Yeah, you know, you put on the ice skates and then you glide in the rink?”**

Louis laughs, actually laughs out loud, before he answers. 

_“I think in my case it’d be more like crawling on the ice…”_

**“Then there’d be two ;)”**

Louis looks at the flirty message, shaking his head slowly. He hasn’t been ice skating since he was a teenager and he’s very concerned for his ass. 

_“Okay… If I say yes, when would this graceful crawling happen?”_

**“Next Friday, at around six? We’ll leave the wine home this time so at least we’ll be sober while falling.”**

Falling. Oh…! Louis might be already falling for the guy. He doesn’t believe in that fate shit, he never has and never will. But shit, this man might be changing Louis one piece at a time and now he’s already changing the deep stuff. Louis sighs, throwing himself on the bed. His feet are still planted on the floor and his phone is tightly in his hand. He brings it in front of his face, reading Harry’s text a few more times. 

_“Friday it is :)”_

**“Yayyy!”** comes Harry’s answer in just a second. Louis burrows his face into one of the pillows on his bed and laughs into it. He can’t stop thinking about his teenage years and how, even then, he wasn’t this excited about a date. Here he goes, Louis thinks. He’s falling, and hard.

 

\- - - -

 

Harry’s hands. Louis can’t take his eyes off them. They’re tying the laces of his rental ice skates and Louis doesn’t even feel them on. He can only see Harry’s hands, the way his fingers are tightening the laces after every little knot. 

Harry looks up, his green eyes glimmering in the atmospheric lights. He smiles, his lips crooked. His hair’s sticking up, after pulling his beanie off his head. His leashes are slightly curved upwards, making his eyes look even prettier. Louis hides his smile into his scarf, but his eyes keep flickering back to Harry’s. 

 

“There, you ready?” Harry stands up, even taller now that he has skates on. 

“I don’t know if I’m ready, but let’s go,” Louis smiles, handing Harry his beanie. Harry puts it on, some strands of hair showing under the woollen hat. He offers Louis his hand, which Louis takes happily. They walk stiffly, stepping onto the ice. Louis is holding onto the railing and Harry is holding onto his hand with his dear life. They’re not really even skating, just walking on the ice, while watching others skate. 

“We’re hopeless,” Louis groans, looking at Harry with despair in his eyes. 

“Don’t give up yet, we just need to relax!” Harry lets go of Louis’ hand, skating towards the middle of the rink. His way of doing it is a bit wobbly, but he doesn’t fall. It gives Louis courage to try it too and he lets go of the railing. He manages to get a few meters forward, before the skates seem to take Louis too fast towards Harry. 

 

“Watch out!” Louis says, a little bent forward, his hands reaching Harry before the rest of his body. Harry turns around, only to catch Louis in his arms. Louis collapses against him, his skates slipping on the ice. 

“Thanks,” Louis pants, while Harry helps him up. 

“Good you didn’t come any faster towards me,” Harry chuckles, his hands in Louis’. 

“Yeah.” Louis smiles, but knows that this is going to end in disaster. He’s never going to say yes to a date, where he’s supposed to ice skate. It’s not going to happen. 

“Let’s go slowly,” Harry suggests, his hand still in Louis’. He starts to lead them forward, taking gentle kicks and finally it’s starting to seem like they might stay up for the rest of the evening. 

“I think I can handle this,” Louis says, amazed by how his legs start to relax and how his movements start to be more natural too. They skate along the railing, going very slowly, but still skating. The evening starts to resemble a date after they’re on their fourth lap. They start to talk more, their minds coming off from concentrating so much on moving their feet. 

 

“Do you always take your dates somewhere like this?” 

“What do you mean?”

“To do something extreme…” Louis glances towards Harry, seeing the smirk. It makes the butterflies in his stomach come to life and for some reason they also affect his feet. He stumbles for a moment, his skates slipping. He manages to keep himself up and calm the fluttering butterflies. Note to self; don’t look at Harry if you don’t want to find yourself face planting. 

“If you call this extreme, then… hmmm… I don’t think I’ve done something this extreme before, no,” Harry turns around and starts to skate backwards in front of Louis. 

“Now you’re just bragging,” Louis points out, his brows rising. 

“Maybe a bit,” Harry smiles and takes Louis’ hands into his. They skate forward, Louis warning people if there is someone on their way. 

 

“I don’t really date,” Harry admits. His hands tighten around Louis’, his eyes falling towards the ice. 

“That can’t be true?” 

“It kind of is. I haven’t had the time and the ones I’ve gone out with have usually turned out to be pretty shitty people. So no… I don’t date much,” Harry’s eyes rise to meet Louis’, and they’re wide, like Louis is supposed to read a story through them. 

“How come you don’t think I’m a shitty person, then?” 

“I don’t know…” Harry’s eyes narrow, his mouth in a small smile. He’s looking at Louis, then shakes his head gently. 

“There’s something… You know, I can read people quite well. Read them through their tone of voice and facial expressions and body language. I guess that makes everyone I’ve dated very predictable and I’ve gotten bored very easily. Nothing’s a surprise. There’s no spark, when I know what the other one’s going to do after the third date. Or the way they talk on the phone and try to hide their lies or annoyance.” Louis wonders what Harry might see in Louis. If he sees any of those things. If Louis seems predictable or like a person, who will just bore Harry after a while. 

“Usually the second date has been the one, which determines what kind of a person the other is. They lay their cards on the table, showing me a glimpse of the person who’s behind the compliments and answers. They want something I don’t want. They want something normal. One once said that a relationship should be like riding a bike. I can’t stand that. To him it was important that once you get to know the other person, everything goes smoothly and nothing’s going to make you fall or fly high. It becomes too secure. Too comfortable.” 

“But with you… I have to figure you out a bit more. You’re not like the others. You don’t lay all your cards on the table right away. There’s something complex about you.” Harry seems a bit embarrassed after his small speech. Louis tries to hide his grin, but maybe he doesn’t want to hide it. 

 

“You do know that you sound like a person who knows how to read minds… Or maybe even a psychic!” Harry laughs and the dimples pop to his cheeks. Louis laughs only because he hears Harry’s sweet voice. 

“Or then I’m incredibly naïve and should’ve accepted my future a long time ago,” he says, cocking his eyebrow. 

“I don’t think so. I can tell you’re pretty good with people, you should embrace it.” 

Harry looks at Louis, like he would’ve heard some big secret, but deep down he would’ve known about it already. He’s somehow amazed by what Louis said and the smirk on his face fills Louis’ guts with the butterflies. He’s such a teenage boy around Harry. It annoys and excites Louis at the same time. 

 

Suddenly Harry makes a U-turn, taking Louis with him towards the centre of the rink. He lets go of Louis’ hands, but he doesn’t control his bambi-like body and starts to stagger forward. He manages to keep himself up, until his foot flies up too high in the air and he ends up on his hands and knees. 

“Are you okay?” Louis skates forward, stumbling on his feet. He helps Harry up, who’s laughing with tears in his eyes. 

“This really is extreme!” He manages to splutter out. Louis laughs with him, and maybe also a bit at him. 

 

“Maybe we should get something warm to drink, so we won’t end up with colds?” Louis suggests, his fingers entwining with Harry’s. 

“Sounds really nice,” Harry smiles, skating a bit forward. 

“See! Now you’re skating backwards!” 

“No, you’re pushing me backwards,” Louis deadpans. Harry stops, pulling Louis against him. 

“I don’t think so. You should embrace your skating skills,” he smiles charmingly, kissing Louis on the cheek, almost on the corner of Louis’ eye. Louis closes his eyes, his skin heating up just from the spot Harry touched. Harry’s lips linger on Louis’ skin, his cheek against Louis’. He smells like winter and something sweet and something fresh and something which has to be only Harry. Louis feels like he’s in a bubble with Harry, and it’s the warmest and safest place on earth. 

 

Harry leans back, his eyes warm and the smile on his lips the softest. He starts to lead them towards the way out of the rink, skating a bit ahead from Louis. Harry turns towards him, smiles and then reaches the railing. Louis’ eyes bulge in his head when with a high squeal Harry crashes against the railing and flips over it. Louis reaches the fence in no time, looking down to see Harry on the floor, his eyes scrunched shut and his mouth open in a wide smile. 

“I think this is the point when you should say ice skating is extreme,” Louis points out, which makes Harry laugh even harder. The sound is the funniest and Louis has never felt like he wants to laugh this much only because someone else is laughing. 

 

They get the skates off and go to a nearby café. Harry orders them hot chocolates, because “after ice skating you have to have hot chocolate”. Louis thinks he has forgotten he’s 27 already. Harry makes him feel young and whole, in a way. Like he’d be a puzzle and one piece of it would be missing. Harry fills the puzzle with his presence and his smile and laughter and the way he talks with Louis. He’s a person, who doesn’t seem real. 

Hot chocolates in their hands, they sit on one of the tables close to the windows. Louis cradles the mug in his hands, warming them. 

“I think we did quite well!” Harry says and takes a sip from his cocoa. 

“Yeah, neither of us got their head smashed and we still have all our limbs intact.” Harry tilts his head and rolls his eyes. Louis shrugs, hiding his smile in the mug. 

“Maybe we could go again?” 

“You mean ice skating?” Louis looks at Harry with horrified eyes. 

“Yeah, I think it was fun and when we get a bit more practice, it’ll be fun.” Louis thinks of his words. He has to agree that it was pretty fun. 

“Okay, but on one condition,” Louis points at Harry, who is listening intently. 

“You have to bring me thicker gloves, or my fingers are going to fall off.” He makes a serious face, narrowing his eyes. 

“It’s a deal,” Harry brings hand towards Louis, his elbow on the table. He offers Louis his little finger. When Louis doesn’t do anything, he wiggles it. Louis stares into Harry’s eyes, knowing that this is a thing he doesn’t want to miss. 

“Deal,” he says, wrapping his little finger with Harry’s and feels the warm skin against his cold skin. Harry pulls his hand closer, giving Louis’ wrist a kiss while looking into his eyes. 

The damn butterflies can’t stop flying. Suddenly Louis doesn’t feel cold at all, more like he’d be boiling. 

 

\- - - -

 

 _\- Two years later -_

 

“Is the white wine okay or should we have brought red too?” Johanna asks Harry, holding a bottle with a big red bow on it. 

“Don’t worry, mum likes white wine better than red. She gets headaches from red wine,” Harry smiles at her. He’s sitting in the passenger seat while Louis is driving. It’s the first time their families are meeting. They thought it’d be great to do this during the Christmas holidays so Gemma can meet Louis’ family as well. 

Louis’ siblings and his mum and stepdad are all crammed into the back seat. It’s good they took Louis’ family van. If they hadn’t, someone would’ve had to be left out. Jay is very nervous, making sure she remembers all the names correctly. 

 

“So your mum is Anne, stepdad is Robin and sister is Gemma?” She asks Harry, who smiles at her and reaches his hand out to pat her knee. 

“Yes, you have nothing to worry about. They’ve asked all your names and I’m sure they’re going to get half of them wrong. So it’s very easy for you.” 

Jay laughs nervously, nodding her head. She keeps fixing Doris and Ernest’s hair, asking Lottie and Fizzy if they remembered all the presents. 

“You really shouldn’t have gotten them anything, it’s too much,” Harry looks at them all, his forehead scrunching. 

“Of course we have gifts for them, Harry! You’re part of the family now and so is your family!” 

“Mum, we’re not even engaged!” Louis chimes in, his eyes glancing at her from the rear view mirror. 

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you would,” she winks at Harry, who smiles and turns to watch the road ahead. Louis sees how he blushes and the way he peeks at Louis from the corner of his eye. 

“What?” Louis turns to give him a smirk, only earning a head shake from Harry. 

“Nothing, nothing… I was just wondering…” 

“About what?” 

“If next year, at this exact same time, we’ll already be engaged.” The backseat has gone quiet. Louis can’t look at Harry now, he’ll drive them off the road if he does. 

“Okay, moving on,” Louis says, seeing his mum holding in a squeal. He knows Harry is watching him and he also knows that they’re already planning to get engaged soon. Well, not soon, but soon enough. By next Christmas it will’ve already happened. Louis knows his smile is giving away his giddy feelings, but he doesn’t really care. Harry reaches his hand towards him and holds it on Louis’ thigh, squeezing it gently. 

The rest of the journey goes on by singing Christmas songs and Jay making sure they didn’t forget anything at home. Snow starts to fall slowly, and the evening grows darker. By the time they reach Harry’s family home, it’s completely dark and ground is starting to look more and more white. 

 

“Do I look okay?” Jay asks Louis when she steps out. He wraps his arm over her shoulder, bringing her closer. 

“You’re beautiful, mum,” he smiles. Jay gives him a kiss and wraps her arm around Louis’ waist. 

Harry is laughing about something with Lottie. When they reach the door, they’re slapping each other with gloves. Jay gives one warning look at both of them. Harry straightens his back, while Lottie hides her grin in her scarf. Harry winks at Louis, who chuckles silently. 

 

Jay rings the doorbell and almost immediately it opens.

“Hello and welcome! Come in!” He is clearly enthusiastic about this event, which brings their families together. Last year they spent Christmas with Harry’s family and New Year’s with Louis’ family. It was the first Christmas Louis didn’t spend with his family, and it was odd at first. But he realised that Harry’s Christmas traditions don’t really differ from Louis’, so it was like being with family. 

“I’m Robin, nice to meet you,” he hugs Jay and Dan, taking their coats. He also greets Louis’ siblings. The younger ones are very shy around him and his warm welcome, but they all laugh it off. 

“We brought you some wine,” Jay offers the bottle at Robin, who takes it with a shocked look on his face. 

“Thank you, we have to taste it on dinner!” He smiles and walks into the kitchen, calling for Anne. 

“You want to take the presents under the tree?” Louis asks from Ernest and Doris, who are standing next to the bags. They nod and drag them into the living room, where Louis leads them. The kids kneel next to the Christmas tree, Louis giving them presents and they put them neatly next to the others. 

 

“Louis!” Gemma walks in, smiling and coming to hug him. 

“Hi!” He hugs her back, leaving his arm around her. 

“And who are these?” She asks, seeing the two siblings. 

“I’m Doris and that’s Ernest,” she introduces with her high little voice. 

“Well hello there, I’m Gemma!” She kneels next to them, helping with the last few presents. 

“We must’ve been very good this year because there’s a lot of presents,” Gemma enthuses to them. Louis leaves them to it, going to find the rest of his family. 

“You still believe in Santa?” Ernest asks her. Louis has to hold in a loud laugh, for not scaring anyone. He finds the rest from the kitchen, where they’re all talking and laughing together. Jay looks more relaxed already, even though her cheeks are blushing fiercely. 

 

“Hi,” Louis finds Harry and wraps his arms around his waist. He stands next to Harry, fitting right under his arm.

“Hi,” Harry kisses Louis’ forehead. They listen to Jay, Dan and Robin bonding, while the girls look bored from all the talk about how their families haven’t met earlier. Louis leans his head to Harry’s shoulder and smiles. He feels so happy they’re all finally together. 

 

“Sorry I’m late,” Anne walks in, a book in her hand. 

“I was looking for a recipe for this amazing hot chocolate I thought your kids would like while we drink something stronger,” she explains, coming to hug Louis and then Harry. She gives them kisses on their cheeks. 

“What a wonderful idea!” Jay smiles at her. Her face twists with something, when Anne steps closer. 

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” Anne says, her brows scrunching together. They hug, those odd expressions on their faces. They smile at each other, both as perplexed. The odd feeling in the air vanishes quickly, when Anne hugs Dan and the girls. 

 

Before dinner they’re all scattered around the house. Louis and Harry are in the living room with Lottie and Fizzy, talking with Gemma. Louis is having wine and Harry steals some sips from the glass. They’re standing closely next to each other, their hands touching. Jay stands next to the tree with Phoebe, Daisy and Charlotte, admiring the decorations. 

“Now I know where I’ve seen you before,” Anne comes to stand next to them, handing Jay a glass of wine as well. She smiles, looking at Harry and Louis. 

“Remember, it was back in the 90’s… I was in the super market and was pushing Harry in a stroller. When I was at the till, a very young boy came and held Harry’s hand. Can you remember that?” Anne asks, her eyes sparkling. Jay’s raking her memory, her eyes squinting. Then suddenly they widen and she opens her mouth into an O – shape. 

“No!” She tries to keep her voice down, but she’s pretty sure everyone in the house heard her. 

“Yes!” Anne starts to laugh. 

“This can’t be possible!” 

“Apparently it is! I remember, when we came home with Harry, he had this very sad look on his face. I was pretty sure it was because of Louis,” Anne takes a sip from her glass, her smile so wide her eyes are almost closed. 

“It was the same with Louis! He was so upset he didn’t have the chance to spend more time with Harry.” They chuckle, both of their eyes drifting to their sons. 

 

Harry strokes his hand up and down Louis’ back, before it travels down to Louis’ hand. He touches it and almost instinctively Louis entwines their fingers. Almost like playing with their fingers, they squeeze their hands together and then stroke the other’s palm or the back of the hand. In the end Harry is holding onto Louis’ little finger with his own, linking them together.

“It mustn’t have been only a coincidence they met back then,” Anne whispers. 

“Life has a way of working in the most oddest ways,” Jay glances at Anne and then at their wine glasses. 

“Merry Christmas,” she wishes. They clink the glasses together. Their eyes drift back to Harry and Louis, who are laughing at something Lottie just said. Louis leans against Harry’s side, whispering something into his ear. Harry leans closer, looking at Louis with a smirk on his lips and a playful look in his eyes. They both look back towards their mothers and at the same time they raise their brows. 

“This is going to be the greatest story to tell to the grandkids,” Jay whispers into Anne’s ear, who laughs gently. Harry and Louis go back to conversing with their sisters. Anne tells stories about the old Christmas ornaments hanging from the branches of the tree. It smells cosy and warm, like Christmas. Robin and Dan are with the youngest kids, making hot chocolate. 

 

The snow keeps falling. Light shines out from the windows, making the night feel like it’s filled with magic. The whole town is quiet and if you listen really carefully, you can hear the snow settle on the ground. 

Louis knows he doesn’t believe in fate or destiny or anything which involves their characteristics. But in this moment, when he’s with Harry and with all of their family, it seems like someone had a say who he was supposed to meet in that restaurant a couple of years back. Harry smiles at him, his eyes bright and filled with hope and future plans.

Maybe it was fate or destiny after all. Maybe it was Santa. Louis just knows that it has a meaning Harry ran into the restaurant, saved Louis from being stood up and ended the night with a hug, which Louis still remembers. He closes his eyes, imagining their life in five years. How they’ll have their own Christmas traditions and how their lives will have entwined together. 

 

He looks at his family around the dinner table and thinks about the moment, when he came out to his mum. How he, back then, wanted to be who he is and proud of who he is. This is the moment when he knows he has achieved just that. This is the moment he knows he’s very privileged and fortunate. He listens to the music playing quietly in the background, knowing he’ll remember it for the rest of his life. 

_One day I'll fly away. Leave your love to yesterday. What more could your love do for me? When will love be through with me? Why live life from dream to dream, and dread the day when dreaming ends._

Harry looks at Louis, mouthing the words to the song. He shakes his head, rolling his eyes. He smiles, before he keeps on talking with Gemma about something.

Louis knows what he means. Harry won’t be through with his love. He has told that. And for the dreams? 

Well… Their dream is only ahead.

**Author's Note:**

> Commenting and leaving kudos is always appreciated :)  
> Come say hi [here](http://sing-about-being-free.tumblr.com/) (main blog) or  
> [here](http://alltheselittlewritings.tumblr.com/) (fic blog) :)


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